The trial and my faith {a personal journey}

Who would have thought I’d get personal two times in one week? Well, it’s happening. ๐Ÿ™‚

If you’ve been around very long, then you know that this blog is mostly about fun things like building furniture, making crafts or making over a room. We talk about paint, sprinkle birthday parties and lessons from Craigslist. But while my life may seem all rosy and sunny on the outside, there’s a lot of things I don’t share on my blog. And for the most part it will stay that way.

My Journey with Secondary Infertility

But for some reason I knew at some point that I would share this part of my journey with my friends here. I sincerely hope that my story will help other moms, who are going through the same thing, not feel so alone. I know it encourages me to hear others’ stories.

This particular season of life has been filled with one particular trial of which we’re still right smack dab in the middle. It’s an ugly medical condition called Secondary Infertility. I hate it! In the midst of our blessed life, Coach and I would love to be able to have another baby and give Miss A a sibling. I’m pretty sure she’d think it was her very own personal, living baby doll. I probably wouldn’t even need to take care of it, because she’d be all over it! {Just kidding! Don’t call social services on me. I wouldn’t leave a baby to a 3-year-old. :)}

Miss A has been asking more and more recently about baby sisters and brothers, as so many of her friends are beginning to have them. But it’s not our time … yet.

—>>>I’m sharing the story of our journey with Secondary Infertility at my friend Bobi Ann’s blog today.

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  6. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m going through this right now. My daughter is 3 1/2 and it’s been almost 2 years. The last few days I’ve really been questioning my faith in the Lord’s timing. I appreciate your post, as I have regained my faith and know that it will be on His timing and He has a plan for me. I’m learning not just be grateful for things but to focus on being thankful in my circumstance. Thank you for sharing. It’s incredibly personal and is so very painful- yet humbling, and dare I say, peaceful (when focused with a spiritual focus) all at the same time. Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. I’m so sorry that you’re facing it too, Lindsay. It’s so hard, but it’s amazing how I’ve grown in the past two years. Praying baby blessings for you!

  7. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I, too, am struggling with SI, going on three years now. I have two wonderful children, and dreams of more. But God in His wisdom has not given us more. I have had at least one early miscarriage, so I also know that heartache. At this point, I am trying to be content with God’s plan for me, and trust Him for the future. It is a comfort to know I am not alone. Thank you!

    1. I’m so glad you stopped by to share your story. It is comforting to know we don’t walk this road alone. We’re still hoping for another one and waiting on God’s perfect timing! Praying that you’ll find peace amidst the waiting. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. I just have to share that I too got married at 27 in 2010, had a daughter named Ava in 2011 after 18 hours of horrific labor. I also struggle with secondary infertility. The similarities gave me a feeling of instant connection. You’ll be in my prayers.

  9. I just gone through the post and really want to admire the fact that you are handling the situations in a great way.

    1. It does help that other people know … I so agree. I hate that you’re going through this too, but thanks so much for sharing. Off to read your story!

      Blessings, Laura

  10. I hopped over and read the rest of your post. My heart hurts for yours! I can’t imagine how hard secondary infertility would be!!! After 7 years of struggling to conceive we were blessed with a son via adoption. He is our little miracle baby (now 3 as well as your daughter.) Hang in there, momma! Thinking of you. xoxo

  11. Words don’t seem adequate to thank you for sharing your story. God is using you in a very powerful way! Thanks for sharing it on the Share it Sunday page, too! Bless you always!!

  12. So much love and prayers are bring sent your way sweetie! It is so brave of you to share…secondary infertility is very real, and not talked about it often enough. I have dealt with it too after I had my first one. But hang in there, lots of love!

  13. Oh Laura … I read your whole post and am so sorry to hear that you have been going through these heartbreaking trials. Although I, myself, haven’t experienced it I have some good friends who have gone through similar things and they have shared with me how traumatic it can be. You will be in my prayers:)

  14. Laura, I just read your whole post and I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I keep hearing this is more common where I never even heard about it before having kids. It must be beyond frustrating and very sad. Can’t wait to give you big hugs this summer! Love ya ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. Hi
    I went through a similar situation except it was when we were trying for the third that things just seem to not work out as planned. The Lord had blessed us with two precious boys but we knew we wanted a girl. So a year before we knew we wanted to try again I started praying for a girl. On September 8 2011 I believed that The Lord promised that he would give us a girl(long story). But I miscarried 3 times over a span of 2 years. But this is what The Lord spoke to my heart one night as I cried out to him. He told me to stand on his promises. and that’s what I’d like to share with you. Stand on the promises of God he is such a faithful friend.

  16. We have had a similar experience. A year ago we were pregnant but had a miscarriage after 6 weeks. Since that time we have not been able to get pregnant. It always seemed that getting pregnant was easy and happens quickly. My mom, sister, most of my friends were all pregnant right away. With our first it happened so quick and sooner than we thought it would. I know God has a plan and that I am so lucky to have my daughter, but it is hard to understand why we haven’t had another baby. I came across your post on Pinterest and have never heard of Secondary Infertility. Thank you for sharing. It is encouraging to read the stories of other moms that have experienced this and came through it. It is also comforting to know that I am not the only one to feel this way or struggle with this.

    1. Although I hate that you’re struggling with this too, it is so comforting to know we’re not alone. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your story. ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. Laura,

    I’m so sorry for what you have been through. I too have lost two precious angels to miscarriage so I know that nothing I could say can really help, but please know you are in my prayers and that you’re not alone. Thank you for sharing your story!


  18. Oh sweet friend what an incredible honest story about your struggle! You’re right it’s easy to appear we “have it together” when in reality we are all struggling some way! I know your story being shared will bless many couples and the best part is that we don’t know the ending!! Your faith and trust in God and your honest pain is powerful to share! Glad you felt called to share and now I can certainly pray more specifically for you!! Xoxo

  19. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can totally understand. I’m just a “bit” older than you, and “life” didn’t happen the way that I had hoped or expected either. I didn’t meet my hubby until just turning 30 and we got married just shy of my 33rd birthday for job/financial/school reasons. We waited 6-8 mos before trying to get pregnant and it happened right away with no issues. Excellent pregnancy and birth. Beautiful baby boy who is now 18. After a year we tried again and expected it to happen the same way. But no. We tried for one year and then sought medical help. We had Secondary Infertility. Both of my fallopian tubes were blocked. The test was done twice. There were two options available to us. One was to have surgery where they would cut the tube where the blockage was and reattach (which would run the risk of scar tissue and have the same problem) or we could try InVitro Fertilization (which would be covered because of the condition that I had. I live in Canada and we would not have to pay.) So we chose In Vitro. That is another long story of shots, blood work, ultrasounds, and doctor app’ts. In the end it did not work. One and a half weeks after they implanted the fetuses (3 of them) I began to bleed heavily with lots of clots. I knew I had lost them but had to wait for the official phone call iwith the results of my blood work. I just laid on the floor and cried. We were allowed three tries, but I couldn’t do it again. A short time after that my husband encouraged me to try it again and I told him I would wait a few months. In the meantime I had a “pow wow” with God. I put a demand on Him, like the woman with the issue of blood. I named all the women in the Bible who were barren but conceived. I reminded God that He loves us all the same and that having children was His idea. Well that night I got pregnant. I was a few days late on my cycle and I thought that maybe I was starting menopause early. I was 39 at this point and my mother started early. I took a home pregnancy test and by golly it was positive. At 12 weeks I heard that wonderful heartbeat. Music to my ears!!! Then I had a bit of spotting and to make a long sad story short I lost the baby. I do not blame God. There is an enemy out there who wants to destroy. If I was younger at that time I would have fought again. It took me quite awhile to get over that. We were leaders of a parenting cell group at that time and there were a couple of newborns that came after I lost my baby boy. The cry is what broke my heart. I wish I had a better ending to share with you, but I want to encourage you NOT to give up the fight. You are younger than I was and it is God’s will for you to have children and that is what you need to declare and stand on. I will be believing with you and I’m looking forward to hearing the good news one day soon. Fight for your heritage!
    Thank you for opening your heart to share about this. I have been mulling over sharing my story on my blog and maybe this is the encouragement I need. Sometimes we think that we are the only one going through what we’re going through. To this day I just love babies. Everything about them. And I tell young Moms to embrace every day because before you know they are 18 and driving your car to youth group. Be encouraged, be thankful, be at peace, and in all that be a warrior, a princess warrior!
    Blessings, Diane (sorry for the long comment!)

    1. Diane … thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story. I so need to be reminded to “fight for my heritage” … I just LOVE that. {And I realized quickly that I needed to read your comment NOT in public, that line made me cry. :)} Sometimes, I can get lost in the trees and forget to see the forest. I, too, love babies and and truly love it when my friends get pregnant and have healthy pregnancies and babies. They are such a gift!! And you will know when it’s time to share you story. I left comments like this one on several blogs before I felt like it was my turn to tell my story. God will use your story at just the perfect time! Blessings to you!!

  20. Thank you for sharing this. I happened upon your blog yesterday and loved reading through it, I am definitely on a home dรฉcor blog kick! ๐Ÿ™‚ But I don’t think it was an accident, as I logged on today and saw your struggle. I experienced secondary infertility with my 3rd child. Even after 2 kids, I was shocked at the pain and emotional struggle I went through. We endured 2 miscarriages as well and underwent several months of infertility treatments with no success. We eventually got pregnant on our own, much to our surprise, and our 3rd was born in May of 2013.

    Hang in there and never lose faith. The Lord works in mysterious ways ๐Ÿ™‚ I often wonder why we experienced this trial and while I don’t have a concrete answer, I know that I appreciate my role as a mother more and I have a deep conviction in trusting in God’s timing. My faith was strengthened and I have found opportunities to share my experience and hopefully provide encouragement to others (my younger sister is experiencing primary infertility right now.)

    I love your blog and am excited to be a new reader!

    1. Thanks so much for the encouragement, Lacy! It’s so good to hear from other women who are on the other side of it.

      It does make you appreciate the children you do have all the more, and make you realize how each child is truly a miracle. It is a by-product of this journey that I am grateful for. Prayers for your sister right now. I can’t imagine the unknown of primary infertility. So thankful for my Miss A.

  21. I can completely sympathize with your situation!
    My husband and I went through the same ordeal trying to conceive our second son and two miscarriages
    Can break even the strongest spirit! Please don’t loose heart and talk to your OB about your progesterone!
    13 weeks on progesterone enabled me to carry to term. I pray for you and your husband as you go thru this journey
    And pray that Gods mercy and grace abound for you both!
    Please have those hormone levels checked, it very well could be the key to happy healthy pregnancy!!
    Much love and prayer to you!!!

    1. Thank you for the encouragement, Mellani! It means so much! I have been off and on of progesterone for the past year or so. Hormones play such an important role on conceiving and carrying a child. And I’ve heard a lot of people say that progesterone helped them as well. ๐Ÿ™‚

  22. I just read your full post Laura. Thanks for sharing. I love your approach about thinking that God is asking you to “wait”. It is hard to understand why, but with your faith at least you know there is a masterplan for your family. Squeeze Miss A and know that I am thinking about you and sending you prayers that your “wait” will be over soon.

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